my brain any time we have a hundred dollars: whoa, whoa, whoa…WHOA….stop the fuckin presses guys…..a “HUNDRED“ dollars? Like, a LITERAL hundred of them!? You serious!? That’s like…hold on let me do what I think math is….that’s like….INFINITY dollars. That’s THE big number. TEN TENS, BABY! We can afford ANYTHING! Food! Shoes! Gas! More food! Entertainment!! EVEN more food!!! We are ROLLING in those ten fuckin’ tens!!!! UNSTOPPABLE!!!!
the same brain as soon as we no longer have a hundred dollars: whu…..uh…h-how…how di…..but…….we had a hundred of them………
Personally I always felt like Hobbits age at roughly the same rate as exceptionally healthy humans and that the reason they don’t come of legal age until 33 is because have you met people in their 20s because Tolkien did
Funny: Pippin is an idiot because he’s not an adult yet.
Funnier: Pippin is an idiot because he’s 28.
jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien, an actual college professor: none of you are fucking valid
me, a 29-and-a-half year old: i mean, but is he wrong
i arrive at the gay bar in full butch getup and i look like super hot like trust me and i start buying chocolate milk for the femmes at the bar…..between my striking good looks and my generosity concerning tasteful dairy products i have impressed them greatly and after an hour of chatting I make my move. i reach into my pocket and remove a large, gorgeous lichen affixed to a piece of bark from its protective herbarium packet that I have concealed in my pants pocket. “it’s a symbiotic relationship between a fungus and an algae,” i begin,
You say shitpost but I swear to god I would pick up the U-haul on our way home from the bar don’t try me
it really is next to impossible to write realistic sibling dialogue, I just passed my brother on the stairs and instead of greeting each other like human beings I said ‘born survivor’ and he said ‘youtube rewind. let’s set it to rewind.’ like you ain’t gonna find that shit in a novel
aw man writing siblings is so wild because sometimes you just can’t portray it
me and my little brother don’t even greet each other - if we pass each other on the stairs or in the corridor, we jump into ridiculous fight stances then feign karate chopping and slapping each other (stopping just before we make contact) whilst making “HIIIYA” and “POW” noises for a solid 30 seconds, then silently walk off and continue what we were doing
and then sometimes he’ll either just do the Had To Do It To ‘Em pose when I enter the room or dab as a greeting
exactly! I have three younger brothers and the original post was just about the oldest, the middle one and me usually do some kind of elaborate dab also, and a lot of the time when I see the youngest I just yell his name like a wrestling commentator…siblings have a different language
my twin brother and I just point at each other like that spider-man meme if we see each other at school
